morning woke up super late. 7.20. chiong to school. wasnt late. had class party. yeah that was great. jeffery's very good at guitar.
then went back to tms. open until 10.30 only? shit how to visit. nvm i go back. saw the crew. was happy for a period of time. got raped. lost my shoes, my bags and my balance. it was fun though. i visited mr oh. done. out of tms.
jt went to play bball. mj went for lunch with stan, qingde and edwin and the rest of em. me josh and hongshan went to siglap.
mac too full. went to kfc.
sat down. bought a large mountain dew. drank it. josh and hongshan ate. i went to josh's house to wait for van to finish her class gathering.
slacked. played josh's sister guitar. played lots of songs with josh. superman was nice. sum 41 songs. blink 182. him and his sticks. and yeah. of ocurse josh was playn the piano. so there.
[BIG CHUNK OF SHIT DELELTED HERE.]
(sorry dear....)
we went down to my hse. then to frankel. then to kembangan mrt. then to hy's hse. then back hm. cos josh had to be at his grandma's hse by 5. so i went hm.
showered. went for reunion dinner. not bad. small family tho. 9 ppl. reached home. smsed van.
dear ur right. boyfriends are supposed to plan. but.. not that i didnt wanna plan. i could have planned. i was okay with it. just that. i had no ideas. nothing at all. and i was frustrated that i had no idea what to do okay. u had to be home by 6. how to go beach watch sunset? im broke. cant take u out for a movie. scared u wld get bored if i jus held ur hand and walked arnd the area. i guess i blew my cool last night. i showed the other side of myself. the edward hyde in me. i guess my words hurt. i didnt know what i was saying. i was.. i dont know. i dont know what i say when im angry. sad. whatever. i just dont know what im saying.
today. was it out of revenge that u left me waiting? 3 hours. 3 hours in joshua's house. at least i have a good friend like joshua. just that somethings i cant relate to a guy. most of the time i talk to u. i dont relate to anyone else. except nadiah maybe. anyway, joshua accomadated me. i wouldnt have minded the waiting. IF u had just told me that u was looking forward to meeting me, but was busy and couldnt do it today. but hey. in my mind, ur msg registered as this, "YOU ARE SECOND HAND TO MY CLASSMATES, YOU CAN WAIT." maybe yes, u are close to ur classmates. could u have told me earlier? gosh.. then again, it totally looked like u DIDNT CARE if we met or not. did u look forward to it? today was supposed to be the perfect day okay. school for 3 periods. free ones. then a visit to my favourite place. temasek sec.. meeting all old friends. then the best part. meeting u. but u took the perfect out of today. mann... my feelings. do i have feelings? looks as if i feelingless to u eh.
i believe that if u said that ur class gathering was cancelled and that u had no where to go aft school, i would have forfeited my visit to temasek sec okay. to go and pick YOU up. compare the commitment. have i ever been part of that heart of yours? or was it only words. what am i feeling now. hurt. am i hurt? can i be hurt even? whats going on.. ><
i just want myself back. i want you back. i dont want this vassal of a eugene. i want eugene lim. i want him back in me now.*wake up dude.*
-more scars on the arms. good or bad? you decide.
[this post has been edited. deleted kinda lots of stuff. so it may not flow very well. i just left the last part. once again, dear.. im sorry... i really really realllly am. i would do anything to not have u mad at me again...] (man this feeling of being mad at suckss)
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