To changing the meaning of what makes one happy

I was talking to Lester this morning, and the conversation produced a sense of peaceful, enlightening sort of happiness, together with a tinge of excitement and hope.



I'll spend this fortnight wisely, searching for things that I like to do, for things that make me happy. Sounds familiar, but I know when it's different because I'm understanding this differently now. Hopefully at the end of these two weeks, I'll come to realize what I have failed to realize all this while: that I don't need someone to make me happy.

A relationship shouldn't be the reason why I'm happy, but if I want to be in one, then I should want to be in one because I can extend my personal happiness with another person, sharing it with someone else, and at the same time allow the person to share her happiness with me as well. This is why other people can "make you happy" because they can share their happiness with you. But don't feed off it and make it your only source of happiness.

I'm going to take this fortnight and make sure every day is well spent. Do what I like - play my video games, watch my television, play my guitar, but also find other things I might like - go cycling again, hang out with other friends too, exercise, explore, shop, drive around, eat good food, drink beer and be happy. Not forgetting to also include my school work, heh.

Here's me telling myself: don't desire to be in a relationship because it makes you happy. There are other things that make a person happy as well - find out what those things are. Remember that life doesn't revolve around this relationship, and hence do other things which make you happy as well.

I'm not sad, not unhappy, but strangely I'm filled with a sense of optimism and I'm looking forward to seeing how these two weeks will roll out for me. It's easy to interpret this as "I don't need a relationship" but really what this means is "nobody ever needs a relationship". A relationship should be wanted, not needed, and wanted because you're overflowing with your own happiness and you want to share it with someone else and make someone else happy.

We need to change our perspective on what relationships mean to us. From a video Lester shared to me (really good to watch btw):

Conan O'Brien's 2011 Dartmouth College Commencement Address

It's our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimate define us and make us unique... if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention.

Watch the full video for the full effect, it's hilarious and bring new light to what you're doing with your life now. It's available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA