today..

today wasnt the perfect day.. last ight was great.. today was.. not so great..

before i say anything, i'll just declare that this post be a ranting one, and that by tmr i shld be fine..

yeah morning woke up.. abit late.. den daniel also abit late.. he asked me to be there quick cos he din bring money for his cab ride. in e end he borrowed 2 bucks frm the carrefour person..

setup, service. nice.. then to indoor stadium. atmosphere was cool. i liked it..

then aft that supposed to go with mj to pasir ris where TASC was filming their investiture stuff.. supposed to be there. was kinda late. so i went there..

and yeah me and mj decided to walk to kallang mrt from indoor stadium. the queue for the shuttle bus was way too long. new creation church has a large population. anyway walk half way, saw e shortcut being blocked up. so took bus 10 to tampines interchange then MRT to pasir ris.. on e bus 10.. i fell asleep and woke up with a headache.. mustve been the rain.. haha but i liked e rain. jus din like e after-effects..

anyway interchange, took an mrt to pasir ris.. and called lester. he said, "jonathan din tell u? u no need to come already. finished already." for a moment there i was ready to scream fuck for the whole world to know la. anyway i was having a major headache and i was hungry. dammmn hungry. and i didnt need to be there? good job eugene! i did ask jonathan before that. cos i heard ppl in the background telling jonathan to tell me that i need not come le. but jonathan still asked me to go. so i went.

and aft that disappointment met yixiu and then mj, went jamming.. we screwed up the entire session.. i mean no standard la both of us today. its just off form. totally.

went out still with the headache.. went for dinner..

and at dinner.. shao qi frm tj av called me. asked me whether i cld make it for the camp anot.. and im nt sure. but i felt like i needed a break frm everything.. din realli wanna be involved.. but yeah all the same, i had to go.. camp frm 28th to 30th may.. and shitness.......

28th open hse.. aft that got sound ministry gathering.. then on e 29th is my final test. supposed to do soundcheck, mix, the entire service.. myself.. with lionel there.. 30th was..less busy? but 30th go also no pt le.he said 30th morning.. then they go off le..

so anyway i gave some thought abt it. dear and mj were there.. giving opinions. and i felt realli fed up at everything in life. so i went out and took a walk. im sry if i was rude and din say i was goin out..

and well.. eugene is no longer himself le la. i mean in e past.. decision making? no problem. think, snap. done. but just now? think and think and go arnd the bush. din even think much. and i wasnt making progress.. how inefficient..

wow i decided to quit av.. i mean i can continue doing sound outside tj ma. and serve the school. thru council lor. one less commitment. why nt. ok lor. done.

and to those who dunno why my day was so bad. then i dn think u know me well enuff. maybe u all just dunno how important AV is to me. as in. even though im nt involved and all. there's this sense of attachment and sense of belonging. belonging to one big family. i mean. av.. is.. something different. and its nt just presssing buttons.. its .. much more.. how u produce live sound.. how u can improve mix quality.. how u can actually make things work out and make life muh better for others..

sigh its just a big loss. i mean. i've nt felt this way for a long time. and now. im just realli down. but as i said, i'll be fine by tmr morning..

just that nw i have to know MOV and then i have to do some chinese stuff. owe my chinese teacher alot of things.. yeah and. there we go..


just wanna apologise to anyone whom i've shown attitude. nt replying.. nt talking much.. nt contributing.. its just so many things one after another.. first the sports carn.. then the tasc.. then now this.. and upcoming is my turn to do live mix. im not so worried abt that. im going to enojy it.. but the thing abt it is.. hmmz sometimes i may make mistakes.. i know that that's wrong. but i just did it without thinking.. i'll have to change..

thanks dear.. for givin me a big hug.. 2 big hugs.. and i love u.. i just need some time to.. think things through.. for me.. maybe i dn realli feel like talkin to anyone much.. tired? sleepy? troublesome? nahhh its the headache.. im sry dear.. thanks for ur penadol today.. though there was no water.. i really appreciate ur effort.. mwacks.. thanks sweetie.. u know i love u? cos i think u shld know that. i realli love u lots..

-hugs and kisses,
eugene lim fang jun. Yamaha DM 2000.
(soundman with a passion)