haii.

ahh i cant stop thinking about u. ><. i cant sleep. im in my bed. and i miss u like hell.

im so unclear of what im doing now. at the beginning of the year there was goal settings. setting a path for myself. goal. yeah right. what goal. i penned it down. drew it. i told myself i wanted to scale higher mountains. go to greater heights. i totally missed the mark. what heights? what do i mean? i never know. i dont know. i need some guidance. ><.

im lost in my homework. i have no motivation to do it at all. i spent so much time at my mom's office today. my main aim was to finish all my homework. god. i only did my zuo ye. chapter 1 and 2. and my chem. stochiometry one. like that. and i re-copied my chinese word meaning thing. cos it was damn untidy at first. so like that. the whole day. wasted. i still have to finish reading dr jekyll and hyde. believe it or not. i havent read it to the end yet. i still need to do my chinese. the newspaper thing. ahh save me. social studies. what the hell do i have to do again? i forgot. someone from 1e05 tell me.

haha. thought i could get over it. i dont know why but suddenly i'll just get these.. "downhill" kinda feelings. u dont know what ur doing ur just staring into blank space thinking "what am i supposed to do. what's left to do. what to do. how?" i thought i had gotten over this. it hasnt happened for so long. none of these spells. nothing could make me so sad anymore. something in me tells me something isnt right. i dont know what. cant concentrate? i dont know. i have that urge to go down to the beach again. yeah. dont be stupid. they dont know u yet. they havent seen past the outer shell. bubbly. forever bubbly. bubbles. reminds me of finding nemo. bubbles. nevermind. inner self. self. image. self-image. sian why am i thinking of marcus tan's classes. i miss 2/4. i miss temasek sec. everyone there was. i dont know. perfectly friendly? had our share of quarrels. everyone was bare about everything. nothing was hidden. no backstabbin no nothin. at least not in my world. god i hate backstabbers. and hey. you. you know who im talking about.

you. dont try it. not a single word more about my mei u understand me. which mei? u know. the one who just got braces. i hear one more f*cking complain from her, ur so gonna regret it. not that i want to be a bastard or anything. but hey what is wrong with her. why do u like to backstab people. can u use ur stupid brain for once and think. do u benefit from all this crap. huh? do u? by the way dont try to deny it. once a bitch always a bitch. yeah im ranting here. u may have clean forgotten. but i could NEVER forget some words u said. tagging on germaine's blog. anoymous. anoymous. no guts god. want to insult a person please do it straight. dont like the person please be frank. like sarah. u dont know her but if she hates someone she shows it. people like u pretend to like the person when she's around and bitch about her the whole time when she's gone. what stupid nonsense is this. i've had enough of f*ck. dont push it. u dont wanna see me again. ur cd will be returned sooner or later. i cant possibly bring it everywhere i go. oh yes u look like a prawn with ur new hairstyle.

i was ranting. ap. ap. ap. i dont get it. whats wrong with me. nvm hopefuly i'll feel much better when i wake up.

hey.. not that i dont want to see u kae. its cos we're both so busy people.. haii. one month coming liao k. so saddened. cant see u on one month. ur busy arent u. ><.. i will make time if i can. i will. nothing can stay in my way. one way or another. 25.01 will be free for me. its ur move. ur turn to escape from ur commitments for once. when u read this call me. i'll be waiting. mwacks.