eugene

It's probably too late, but I wish I wrote more. I wish I had more practice writing fluently. Well, not that my writing isn't fluent, it's just not what one would call "flowing". I struggle trying to connect different ideas together, trying to weave all of them into one single argument. As much as the content matters, how I present the content matters as well.

Anyway, enough of that. Been reading the Hunger Games in my free time (bought it on Kobo). Finished the first book, was an amazing page turner. I'd shit for extended periods just to read one more chapter. And I'm on the 2nd chapter of the 2nd book now, just that I cannot afford to continue reading on like this. I've 2 quizzes on Monday, a group presentation on Wednesday and a group paper to hand in on Thursday, so I guess I'll have to put off extended reading until the finals are over (which are in less than a month).

But I'm here because I've ploughed through my notes for a bit, trying to study for Monday, and I have to admit - studying for an exam is harder than writing a damn paper. Everything hinges on those couple of hours, and the preparation is tough. It's not only understanding, it's memory work and that seems pointless to some extent.

So, the Hunger Games. Great storyline! I'm thrown into the world of Panem each time I launch Kobo. The world around me just disappears while I read. Prior to today, I have not watched the trailer for the movie. I decided that I would only watch the trailer/movie after I've finished the book, and now that I have, I take a look at the trailer, and while some part of me is excited by the world presented to me, part of me now regrets watching the trailer.

Here's the thing about reading. You construct the world by yourself. My understanding of "Panem" is absolutely different from your understanding of "Panem". How Katniss looks like, how Peeta looks like, how Gale looks like, all have zero bearing on my preference toward character - I have absolutely no idea how they look like, and therefore I cannot make judgements about character, take sides etc, based on how they look. In other words, my judgements about what happens won't be biased.

--SPOILER ALERT--

Before I saw the trailer, I was torn between two sides - whether to support the Katniss-Peeta "relationship", or whether to support the Katniss-Gale "relationship". And it seemed to provide good avenue for me to actually contemplate some issues, take a stand, allow myself to solidify my system of values. It provided a dilemma for me to think about. It didn't thrust the answer into my hands (at least not yet), but it made me want to find out more about these 2 couples, what the dynamics of their relationships are like and who I should support.

But now that I've seen the trailer, I know how Gale looks like, and I know how Peeta looks like. And I have to say - I once was sitting on the fence about the Peeta/Gale thing, but having seen the trailer, I'm leaning toward the Peeta side. Because I think they look better together. Well, truth be told I've read more about Peeta and Katniss than Gale and Katniss, so that might have some influence, but seeing the trailer did not give me something to ponder. It did not rouse my curiosity (although I now want to know how the Games played out on the screen). In fact, I was partly afraid that my mental image of "Panem" - District 12, the Capitol, would be marred by what I saw. Thankfully I didn't get to see much.

But still, I'm left wonder if I should go catch the movie or not. Will it spoil that warm feeling I get whenever I read about Peeta trying to romance Katniss? Will it spoil the dilemma, the confusion I share with Katniss when she herself contemplates what to do? How will watching the movie change the way I read the book/my understanding of it/my appreciation of it?

I sound like a spoilt Capitol citizen. But here's the thing - maybe I am. I find myself drawing parallels between what is written in the book and what is happening in real life. But I think I would find myself drawing less parallels between the movie and real life - because I'd say "nawww, that's not me... that's not what I look like". Like it or not, how one looks plays an important role in deciding one's role and identity; we cannot divorce one's identity from his/her features. But I truly find myself wondering, what if I watch the movie, and then continue to read "Catching Fire"... and I now know what everything looks like, and therefore I will be less inclined to think of myself as one of the characters? How much less will I enjoy the book?

Ah well, back to Developmental Psychology.