-Emo

Emo. A feeling that... I've been questioning for a long time..

What is emo? How does one feel emo? Well I think I had been isolated from the feeling for so long, I totally forgot how emo felt. The only recent emotions involve: carefreeness, anger, sadness, happiness, laziness, sleepiness, but no emo-ness.

And today, I finally got the feeling back. It feels quite nice to have the emo feeling within me once more. To be able to put everything aside and just reminisce the past. To think about good and bad times. To think about how my life would be and will be. To think about so many things. Walking alone down this long winding road. Would my life be the same? Rough and bumpy like the gravel path? Or smooth and straight like the cement one?

Jay Chou's November Chopin. Well I'm not the kind of person who listens to Chinese music. I'm the Rock N' Roll, Punk Rock, Metal, Hard Rock, Instrumental Rock kind of person. Yeah rock rock and more rock. Doesn't that explain the Guns N' Roses background?

(: Anyway Rock has been the central music theme in my life for a very long time. Its been quite long sice I last listened to any other genre. But this... Jay Chou CD made me think more about things. Somehow the CD opened my mind in a way I cannot explain. I saw more just by walking according to the beat of the music. Just listening ever so intently to the SENTIMENTAL classical and acoustic guitar playing instead of the ever usual distortion and overdriven guitar.

I have found my state of peace. Wild, funky, crazy, unstable, reactive me is... Well still here. But I honestly feel more "stable". In someway I do NOT know how to explain. But the music changes me. It does. Piano, something I haven't listened to for a long time. Piano is coming back, I begin to feel the music.

Thanks for lending me the CD. It has made me... Well remember myself somehow. Don't know how to say it, but I was once like this too. Rock but at times at night when I'm alone in my room not talking to anyone, not doing any homework, I listen to the instrumental, soft, quiet music. Air Supply, Michael Learns to Rock, and yes Jay Chou last time too. Love songs like Raye Collin, Westlife, Backstreet Boys. I turn emo too. Yes there IS such a person as : emo Eugene.

Anyway. Yeah time to turn the air con on, and just sit here in the presence of all the calmness and peace and just... Finally put my mind at rest, to take time to breathe after the long and tiring day, after the long and tiring WEEKS. Just time to sit and relax for a while before I go on to finishing my Geography project which is due tomorrow.

I finally feel my soul at peace. I've been looking for something for so long, I just didnt know what. Somethings you don't know, until the day or time you stumble upon it. Now I know what I really needed. Inner peace and a sanctuary to be calm in. To relax, FULLY, in the presence of me myself and I.