The post that will shock all of you

See the title? The post that will shock all of you? Yeah, this post will indeed imprint new images of Lim Fang Jun, Eugene into your hearts and minds. Now mind all of you, before reading this post, know that all that's inside is also part of me, Eugene. And just because I don't bitch around, or don't show my discontent, or keep it all to myself, doesn't mean I don't have negative feelings. In fact, like a trigo graph, as much as the amplitude can go high, it can go just as low.

For those who don't understand, here's an illustration. It's like a mirror. Draw a line on a flat surface (preferably drawing the line upward) and then put a mirror at the base of the line. The reflected image goes as deep into the mirror as the line is on the flat surface.

Lets say I am capable of a Level 10 happiness. This means I am also capable of a Level 10 unhappiness. Got the point?

Now, my recent posts have been unhappy... Sad... Tired... Sick and all... But for all you new readers (New meaning you started reading my blog THIS YEAR), I was once a very happy person. Ming Jie can testify. In school you could never EVER see me frown, I'm always the smiley face that runs around happily socializing and helping teachers out.. What happened to me? Well I prefer to call it maturity, where we all can now see the ugly side of things. Things aren't as happy and perfect anymore. There's a harsh reality behind every smile, there's a long story behind every scar, and an even longer one behind every unhappy blog post which I write.

Moral of the story: I'm not unhappy without a reason. When I'm unhappy, there's GOT TO BE A BIG REASON. Oh yeah thats the way. Maybe MJ could help me do a complementary post on my happiness and unhappiness, and maybe you'll understand what I mean by "I was a happy person." Smiles are smiles, laughter is laughter. But when you are able to smile NATURALLY from your eyes. You are happy. When laughter coincides with a smile right from your heart, it can make even the most ugly person look charming.

Here's the crust of the post. Bitching. Now all of you probably know by now I'm quite a nice guy. I don't like people to bitch, much less someone close to me. Recently I read a post Yi Xiu wrote on her blog and I was pretty disturbed. We had a talk at night which soon turned into a heated argument with poor Marshall(who stayed over) bearing all the nonsense from the both of us. I argued that no matter what it was wrong for her to bitch. And I stuck on that point till something hit me, yes xiu even before you mentioned it. I asked myself, "Why is she doing that."

As previously mentioned, not many people do things without a reason, most of the time a valid one. Thinking about it, I went to the source of the problem: MJ's tagboard. And I looked, and I used all the analytical skills imparted to me to try to analyze the tags and wonder what made Yi Xiu justified enough to post all that. And poor little me did not find a justified reason. This is what struck off the heated argument.

Now, if you are watering your plants, and suddenly the water stops, you would troubleshoot and check for the source of the problem. This is very layman and I hope you can visualize with me. I start by checking the pipe, if something blocked it or not. And I check and I check, and I do not find a blockage. I thought it to be impossible that the water hose is turned off, because I did not touch it. So I discarded that possibility. But the truth is- the water supply got cut off.

Now, relating to the problem at hand. We have misunderstood the source of the problem (which I am also guilty of). We have misunderstood the source of discontent. In any country's history, we can witness historical events on a massive scale unfold. And we study that for any revolution to occur, there must first be a underlying cause, the long term problem. This fuels all the discontent, which builds upon this discontentment. After this, the revolution is sparked off by a short term cause, which is like throwing a match into kerosene (where kerosene is the long term problem).

For a revolution to be successful, it must be justified. If authorities only looked to the short term cause, they would misunderstand the entire situation and call the while revolution unjustified, for example, "WHAT?! So just because President xxx said a few harsh words to the President of yyy, ALL OF YOU WANT TO REVOLT?! THIS IS TOTALLY UNREASONABLE!"

That was what I thought, and I was proved wrong. At first I thought Yi Xiu was just angry that you replied to her tag, and that she got angry over your tag. And I thought Yi Xiu should not be angry at all! This is unreasonable! You started to tag, and then you blame Jo-ann?!

But yes, I was wrong. And please continue to read, you will understand. The tag is not the cause of the discontent.

"There's more to it than meets the eye." This statement is always true. Indeed, there was a long dispute before President xxx said the harsh words. Indeed, they go back a long way. Indeed, a tumor unattended to will just grow in size.

And in this case, the tags on the tagboard simply sparked off the fuel that lied beneath it all. It all started a long time ago, at Katong Mall, Coffee Master Cafe. Jo-ann and MJ wanted to jam, while me and xiu didn't. And Jo-ann... Well sort of ticked Yi Xiu off by suanning her inability to play any instrument. Now, a play of ego comes into the scene. Let me illustrate.

Person A says to Person B- Hey! Lets go ice skating!
Person B says to Person A- I can't ice skate... Lets NOT go ice skating.
Person A says to Person B- Don't be such a spoil sport, you can help me take care of my things! Or you can just try and fall down, it doesn't matter.

This, can be fun teasing. But here's another huge topic! Actual meaning, and perceived meaning. Self is NOT EQUAL to Identity. Do Not Argue With Me Over This. If you wish to argue, I will have anothe whollle long post on my Language Arts lesson on Self and Identity ready to rebuke any argument.

This principle can be applied here- what is said and what is heard may differ. What is meant, and what is understood, also may not be the same. You meant it as a joke, people may take it seriously. I once told someone to fly kite, he went off bought a kite and asked me, "You want to fly with me? I going marina south now."

Now you get what I mean? Or very simple. An example all of us know. Marcus Tan CC and Marcus Tan Hong Long. Mr Marcus Tan CC (Lang Arts Teacher) told Marcus during our CIP Beach Cleanup to clean the beach until 5, and he will not be allowed to go off until then. Jonathan was also asked to stay. Both of them thought he was serious, as he rarely jokes. When I called back to check, it was a joke. But Marcus takes EVERYTHING seriously, which is good at times, bad at some. He refused to stop cleaning the beach, and wanted to show Mr Tan that he took his word seriously.

In any case, Mr Tan apologised to him via sms, and offered to buy him lunch in the future. Now, to have a teacher put his GIANT EGO down and sms a student saying, "Sorry yah, I'll treat you to lunch the next time. Don't be angry ok?" IT TAKES A LOT. Sometimes, apologies aren't enough until you are sure and sure and surely sure that the other affected part accepts the apology.

An apology is also useless unless accepted. An unaccepted apology is wasted breath, take hold of your tongue and your brain; make use of it to make sure the apology gets across PERSONALLY and is accepted, before going to be at rest.

I can conclude that Yi Xiu's blog post is well justified. And that the tagboard was just a trigger which blew the gun up. In fact, the entire tag was TALKING TO MING JIE, but made reference to your tag. Look carefully into the tag, never did it address jo-ann, but it addressed mj.

Do note something, when you mean well, YOU MEAN WELL. And if someone looks down, misinterprets, or misunderstands your apology, DO ALL YOU CAN TO DEFEND YOUR APOLOGY, and not attack the other person. There must be a difference. If someone doubts you, don't get angry, but defend and justify yourself.

Apologies are only required when you do something wrong. If you did something wrong, not only ONE person will see it. Many would. Apologies which are sincere can stand up to the strictest scrutiny. If someone blames you or doubts you, don't be all offended and angry. EXPECT TO BE DOUBTED OR BLAMED. Why? BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG YOU GOON.

Only when you do something wrong do you need to apologise. And if someone doesn't accept the apology, then try harder to apologise IF YOU ARE SINCERE ABOUT IT. What good does an apology do if the next minute when someone doubts your apology you throw all apologetic thoughts away and start cursing, swearing. If you did something wrong, EXPECT to be scrutinized against. EXPECT to be doubted. EXPECT the apology to be unaccepted.

Yi Xiu is justified. Think about it. She may bitch on her blog, but different people have their different unique ways of expressing anger and frustration. If I prevent her from bitching on her blog, it's no difference from shaking a coke bottle till it wants to explode but I cap it down and do not allow it to explode. One day, the bottle will just break into pieces, no need for the cap to explode out.

When I am frustrated, I turn on my guitar amp and I play angry, metal, hard metal power chords. Play solos until my fingers bleed. Play games which I can express my anger at. Blog about it. But never, should anyone keep it in. If you do, then you'll explode one day. I've experienced it before, and that is precisely why I learn to express my anger now and not keep it inside. It'll just be like a rocket waiting to explode.

Bitching, is just an unpleasant way of expressing anger or unhappiness. Nevertheless, it is a means to let go steam and let go pressure and open the bottle cap. Bitching may sound bad, but as long as it's justified, and so long as it's able to let steam off, why not? Would you rather contain all your anger inside you?

This concludes my post. Please refer, and do tag. I hope to change my template soon, I can't view it in Firefox.. Can't scroll down on my posts. Sorry!

Thanks for reading, tag and goodnight!