Misunderstood

sighs.. here's how it went..

today when i reached home, shower. then i fell asleep in e shower.. and then i like was awoken by the breathing in of water. i coughed and then finished my shower..

aft that dinner. then.... found out something DAMN DISAPPOINTING with my grandpa.

and aft that.. came online.. chatted with yixiu.. and then at around 11 started doing my IS..

and i stopped.. to do a little present for yixiu. cos i said that i wld do one and when she finishes she'll be able to see it... i redid and redid and redid the poem that i tried to do for her. eliminating all the possible negative points i can find. summary - it was do and redo and do and redo. and in the end i spend so much time trying to get it done that it wasnt rdy when yixiu wanted to see it..

and thus i was scolded and she got angry. becos she said i din keep to my word.. technically, that wasnt really true.. i said i wld give her when she finished ma.. but nvm lo since she sorta completed 7 out of 10 articles.. i decided that i wld just do it for her. cos honestly. i wanted to make her happy. and maybe i din achieve that result. becos i was.. slow in my work and i din get e poem out in time. so.. i guess if i had shown u, it wldve been an empty present. how much more disappointed would u have gotten?

it was like. 1++ am? and i stayed up with u, waiting for u to finish ur LA.. and i get treated like this.. oh well maybe thats just how life goes.. taken for granted is the word.

when ur there, it's taken for granted. when ur not, a big fuss is blown up.. just like AV.. everytime they do an event well. what? nothing frm the students that says " GOOD JOB AV CREW." but when they screw up. its a lot of talk frm the teachers. " AV. whats wrong. u know how much effort the performers put in. u know.. blabla.. " and we're taken for granted.. yixiu.. am i taken for granted? those times when i was with u.. u just didnt realise it..

i dno dear. sometimes... i dno why u get so damned angry... and just blurt out and scream and then.. u never know how hurt i always get when u turn angry and ap do u..

one moment im just trying my best to console u and tell u that everything'll be alright. anndd i get screamed at " YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!" true maybe i dun understand. but u like it if I SCREAMED AT YOU!?

maybe i dun understand all this pain that ur going thru now. but i was just trying to help. i thought that since u said straightening ur back will help.. then i told u go and sleep. cos when u sleeep ur body is straight. it'll reduce the pain. but.. no.. u said u couldnt get to sleep.. then i have no other solution. all i can say is.

GET ON WITH LIFE.

what are u supposed to be doing? its called SLEEP my dear. i dont want to nag. but u know why NOTHING IS HEALING? its not because God isnt helping. its cos u dont let Him help me dear. and biologically, ur body DOES need its rest in order to recover. what rest is this..

im sorry if i am being a little harsh.. i just want u to know that if u dont sleep the body will not heal, u can forget about having a healthy body liao. okay? im sorry if i was a lil harsh..

dear i just want u to be well again.. i miss my yixiu.. my cukoo!!

=) it doesnt matter how hurt i am. dear i'll get over it once u say sorry and learn frm it.. hugs.. dear thats why i'm ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.. if ever im nt there.. think of the times i was.. =) I LOVE YOU ALOT!

loving u with ALL MY HEART.
eugene`