worst day of my life.

today was officially the worst day of my life..

woke up. late. reach sch. almost late. tired to hell and yes, facing class.. boring.. tired.. hating pe.. chem sucks. so does chinese. math isnt too bad.

yes i failed chinese by one mark. 29/60. how sad? not sad at all. expected this shit. oh yes here are my marks. math i failed with 12/30. since when did i fucking ever fail math. in sec sch my math nv even touch B or C before ok. fucckk now get this stupid fuck. and my lang arts.. no grade. my compo was ok i guess.. but hell i think im gonna do bad. geog wasnt too bad.. 13/20. tada.

marks over with, today. aft sch.. slacked arnd a while.. then went for dental appt.. dentist gave me some gd news.. i wld be able to take my braces out nxt week, 29th march, if all goes well =) yay.

aft that went for cheer.. everything went wrong at cheer prac. mann..

at cheer prac.. me and lee tat cldnt co-ordinate.. and well we let varun fall.. head first. but no serious injury. thank god. but e worst part. he fell on dear.. mannn heartpainn~ but becos varun was super injured i went to tend to him first..

then.. ermm.. we didnt really do very well for cheer.. so yeah..

here comes e part.. someone mentioned that.. "up here it feels like flying.." and i was reminded of the incident long time ago at darren's hse.. like say jan or feb '05.. when jonathan SIM showed me.. flying. yeah.... and now back to the present. what happened was that.. i was.. stupid. i was being plain stupid. stupid with big bold red letters. and it shld never have happened in the first place. to all who was involved. i truely truely. frm the bottom of my heart. i am sorry. i really am. i.. take full responsibility for all that has happened.

i asked ahmad whether he wanted to try to feel how flying felt. and yeah i did the thing that jonathan sim did on me. instructed him to squat down and take deep breaths.. in and out.. then stand up, taking in a deep breath and then stand against the wall.. and i wld apply pressure against his chest and then let go. the effect is one that makes u feel light headed and.. happy i guess.. dont know how to describe it.. but yeah ahmad rejected it.. and jonathan asked if he cld try.. so yeah i instructed jonathan to do that.. and then when i released pressure, he fell face flat on the floor. sprawled.. and yeah whoa it wasnt funny.. i mean suddenly just.. fell down.. and i was so scared.. and i asked if he was ok. no response.

someone else helped me to lift him up. as he was standing. yixiu screamed and i looked to his left side of the face and cursed. i saw blood. lotsss of it. scraped his forehead (above left eyebrow), cheek left, nose abrasion and the upper lip. raw cut. deep..

and i rushed. ran ran and ran to the toilet. to do something. get wet tissue. so i wet the tissue and ran back. saw them sitting on e stairs. it happened behind e audi btw. so yeah i.. well tried to help. bt not good. marcus and yixiu came back with the first aid kit.

marcus treated the wound. very well. good job marcus.. yixiu helpin i guess.. proud of u.. and spectators.. but yeah i was trying to help.. i guess i was just.. scared. afraid of everything.. the consequences.. but more worried over jonathan's injury.. is it just an external wound? are there bone fractures? anything wrong with his brain or smt? mannn.. i was just worried.. and the tj admin staff came. called ambulance.. mr bala came.. and i explained..

i decided that i shld take some responsibility and follow them to the hospital in case the father wanted an explanation. and i feel that i shld be the one giving the explanation. no one else. i was wrong. so yeah go figure.. so yup.. before the ambulance came, we brought jonathan to the sick bay where the stupid first aider there was super stupid. and yeah.. there we go..but yup aft that the paramedics came.. and we explained what happened.. and yeah i went to the hospital in mr bala's car. so we went there.. the accident and emergency department.. so yeah saw his dad. nice guy.. and we talked abit.. jonathan came out and the first words he said to me was, " You, Relax." i was.. relieved somehow.. but i didnt relax. yeahh and marcus and yixiu came soon after.. and we waited for quite sometime.. when he came out of the consultation rm, we talked to him abit.. and realised that he was going to get stiches.. so yeah we were advised to go hm.. so we did =)..

and jonathan is a brave dude. salute. really. mann.. i went hm.. and rushed thru "dinner".. which i hardly ate.. no appetite.. and bathed. changed and went with wendy to take our passport sized photos.. dunno who wants to second me in my run for JSC.. junior student council.. manns >< life.. is bad..

but yes, jonathan.. we all wish u a speedy recovery ok? sorry for all the inconvenience caused.. yeahh.. i am really apologetic about this.. and i learnt my lesson. rather we learnt our lesson. no more stupid things.. mannn i hate myself..

dear. how come.. i feel that ur love for me is.. waning and drifting? maybe cos.. u shared with jos smt u didnt share with me? got abit worked up there.. im sry.. shldnt have.. but yeah i cant help it.. i mean jealousy.. is.. inevitable.. so there we go. maybe u clarified things on ur blog.. havent read it yet.. but dear i'm here for u if u want to share anything with me ok.. so please.. dont treat me like a stranger. i'm here if u wanna lament to. here if u are down or sad.. i love u..

iLusioN` wishes jonathan heng a veryyyy speedy recov...

im sorry.. i really am.. >< style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">